Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
