I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
