did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
