So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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