Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
