Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't turn off my feet"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
