Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
