I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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