you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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