I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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