you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
