I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
