dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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