Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
