"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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