I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
