My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
