You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this is an emotional support booty call
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
