please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
