His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
she pinky promised me she was 18
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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