just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize