i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
