doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
