A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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