2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
as a side note pls kill me
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
