You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
