I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
