Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
