There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
