News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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