they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
