Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
