i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
