She's JV to your varsity
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
