This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
