Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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