I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
