I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
