do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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