I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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