That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
