It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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