I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
