Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
