I wish I could teleport
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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