So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
