Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize