the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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