ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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