I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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