I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm at about main and main street
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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