after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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